whattup folks?

i totally fooled ya'll. you were probably expecting some mushy, lovey-dovey entry. well, happen NOT GONNA. but i am in a pretty good mood and i wanted to get some of the thoughts i've had, out of my head and on paper. so here goes...

week/weekend update: this past week has been pretty good to me. relatively productive, i'd say. i enjoyed a lot of exciting ncaa basketball coverage either from my couch or while on treadmills or ellipticals throughout the week. had lunch with maha on monday at rio grande at the town center. good times. we had our little e-mail spat(albeit a funny and good spirited one) that our poor, poor friends had to endure. phil, jasneen, maha and i went bowling thursday. we enjoyed $8 pitchers and the most stale popcorn of ALL TIME. and i owned Jasneen in quarters. haha. and although i wish i had more success bowling, overall it was fun. friday i stayed in. (glad i did. some of my friends ended up in the emergency room till 7am, ouch)...was really looking forward to going to the shamrock festival on saturday. but, because of scheduling conflicts (among some of my friends) AND upon hearing that they had reached capacity crowds of 20,000+ by 2pm, we decided to make other plans. i heard that some people waited over an hour for a beer. over an hour for a beer. FOR SHAME. FOR SHAME! anyways, Phil, Jasneen, Maha and i met up to have dinner. and things were going smoothly until, unfortunately one of our friends lost her purse en route to the restaurant. we tried our best to find it, but weren't successful. we ended up sitting down for dinner sometime after 8 and finished up close to 10. maha left and jessica met up with us and subbed in for her. we went to mister days in clarendon and had a blast. the line getting in was long, but we didn't mind it as much as the rest of the people did. we had our share of laughs while waiting in line. it was cool. we ran into some familiar o'connell faces AND allicia and her crew. it was great seeing everyone. i hadn't danced that much in a while and we had funny little dance-offs and battles throughout the night. it was a really good time. today, hung out with the fam. went shopping. got some running shoes, stuff from banana and stuff from express. had a nice dinner around my old 'hood. i miss arlington, i always enjoy being in that area. brings back a lot of good memories. cheesy i know...

in other news...there's no beef. i look around. i scroll down my contacts list on my cellphone. i scroll down my aim buddy list. no beef. not that i'm much of a confrontational person when it comes to my friends, but in the past few months i've had a falling out or two. mainly just based on misunderstandings and stuff. u know. it happens. last weekend, i spoke to someone that i hadn't spoken to since...before Christmas. we had had a pretty significant "beef" that led both of us to be a bit upset with each other. and it was rough because i really care about this person. anyways, after a couple of months of not being in touch (which was weird and unnatural for both of us), she and i spoke, cleared the air, talked specifically about the stuff that was bugging, and we feel good about that. things are good and we're in a good place in our friendship. and i'm glad that we decided to talk things out. in a similar story, a very very close friend of mine and i also had a misunderstanding (a pretty small one though, on a less severe level). she and i are really great friends and i feel like i can talk to her about just about everything, but occassionally we argue and get into it. it's just our personalities, i think. we almost always disagree. anyways, we took a few weeks to respectfully give each other space, but ended up talking everything out this weekend and everything's awesome.

and i feel a lot better about everything. and i'm happy that things have worked out in a positive way...

a lot has been on my mind the past few weeks. been thinking a lot about my family (and some of the conflict that exists among some of my relatives, and additionally, some of the stuff that i discussed in my last entry), my future, relationships, how i got myself into some of the above misunderstandings/how and why they took place, my dreams, and my friends (who have been great and provide for me an environment where i can escape all of that other stuff). but although i have some amazing friends and family, i really feel like it's tough for a lot of people to understand me. sometimes i don't even understand me. and when i talk to people who are close to me and who i do really trust, i don't really know what i'm looking for when i do bring up some of the stuff that has been on my mind. i don't know exactly what i want to hear. i don't want pity or anything like that. that's for sure. because i'm happy with my life and i feel really blessed...but i do wonder if people know how i'm feeling. even if my problems are rooted in indecision as opposed to hardship. who knows...


but to leave on a good note. a few years ago i was pretty involved in various multicultural groups at college, namely the filipino club, korean club and asian student council. and for some kind of event i had to do this hip hop dance with a few girls and few other guys in the filipino association. anyways, i was dating this girl at the time ;), and invited to her to watch the event. the event went well and she watched and afterwards, i asked her what she thought. she said that i performed really well, but that overall the show was boring and she really didn't want to go, but went because of me. me being a bit immature back then, i didn't take that response very well. we didn't fight or anything, but at the time, i guess it bugged me a little bit. because i wanted to impress her and i really wanted her to enjoy herself and have a good time, you know?

but looking back on that. that was really sweet and HONEST and mature of her. and that's what real life is about. you're not always going to enjoy or fully embrace the hobbies or interests or talents or routines of that special someone in your life. but if you really care about them, you'll accept those things and be supportive of them no matter what. in love, we always hope that everything will fit perfectly. but sometimes we get something that we don't expect and never thought that we'd want or have, and that something turns into something beautiful and meaningful and special.

that gesture didn't mean that much to me then, but it means a whole lot to me now. it was special and i won't forget it, nor will i forget the lesson that comes along with it. (and btw, i thanked her yesterday when we spoke, it was kinda cool to acknowledge something that happened almost 4 years ago). thanks D


that's all i've got...








P.S.-i told them. 2 years. that's a huge commitment. 2 years...